Chapter One - Look at me

Hi. Look at me. I'm right here. Seriously, look at me. Do you like what you see?
I mean, it's okay if you don't. Why should I care? I don't know you. But you know...

Seriously, you're wrong. I mean, I'm okay. I look great if you look at me the way I
really am. No, really. Even though I seem so uncaring and above it all, I still have
feelings. I'm not one of those outcasts that pretend to be better than anyone else
just because they get judged all the time, hate it and want the big bad bullies to
feel the same way. Do you think I am? It's okay if you do. Why should I care? I
don't even know you. But you know...

Chapter Two - Stop looking at me.

Stop looking at me. Look the other way. I'm not even a pretty sight. My hair is so
weird. I mean, I love it, but you probably don't. It's normal that you don't. I love
it because it's a way for me to express myself. It's a way for me to show that by
having horridly shitty hair and not doing anything about it, I can free myself from
worrying about it.

Why am I telling you all those things? You probably don't care. Look the other way.
Be simple. Be with other people. Doing that will stop you from thinking. You'll fit
in.

Chapter Three - HAHA I AM SO COOL

THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE CHAPTER I WILL BE SPEAKING WITH CAPS LOCK ON. IT IS TO GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT I AM YELLING SO THAT YOU CAN BE ANNOYED. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, IMAGINE SOMEONE YELLING IN YOUR EAR RIGHT NOW AND HE'S GOT THE MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER AND HE'S SPEAKING IN A LANGUAGE THAT DOESN'T EXIST AND HE HAS TERRIBLY BAD BREATH. WOULDN'T YOU BE ANNOYED? I'M SURE YOU WOULD. I KNOW YOU WOULD. THAT'S WHY I AM DOING IT.

Chapter Four - Imagine

Right now, imagine that you have this nasty habit of sticking a toothpick under your
big toenail and kicking a wall as hard as you can. What's more disturbing... the
horrifying pain or that fact that it's one of your habits? God you are so weird.

Chapter Five - Your whole life is coming up to this.

COFFIN! (If some people actually love you.)

Chapter Six - Your afterlife will be defined by this.

NOTHING! (If some people... wait, no. That's what's going to happen.)

Chapter Seven - MY beliefs are fucking retarded.

Ever heard of scientology? They're so fucking stupid. I mean, what the fuck? An evil
alien decides to kill people and for some reason brings their bodies here and sticks
them into volcanos and now these dead people are running as ghosts making us feel bad.

Hey you know what I learned at school today? Apparently we were created by some old bearded man who LIVES IN THE CLOUDS SURROUNDED BY DEAD PEOPLE WITH WINGS WHO PLAY SHITTY MUSIC ON HARPS AND EXPOSE THEIR DICKS AND HAVE A HALO OVER THEIR HEAD AND APPARENTLY WE'LL END UP THERE IF WE'RE GOOD AND HATE HOMOSEXUALS AND BLACK PEOPLE AND MIDDLE EASTERNERS AND MEXICANS AND PAGANS AND JEWS AND MUSLIMS AND TALIBANS AND PERSIANS
AND AFRICANS AND OH GOD WILL THIS EVER END

(Not likely.)

Chapter Eight - Stop hating America.

Why do you hate america? Not everyone here is a fat McDonalds eating racist prick. Not
everyone here is obsessed by money. Even the country itself is great. We have great fields and great monuments and great places to hike or sightseek and great places to enjoy yourself and a nice hate called Canada and a nice supply of cheap field workers called Mexico and a great shopping mall called Europe.

Chapter Nine - Sense

Why is everyone so disgusted by nonsense? Why is it that anyone who likes to show his imagination for the absurd apparently deservers a visist the to psych ward? Imagine you're at a show, seeing your favorite band. They're playing the best song you've ever heard. The singer's voice is like an angel's. The drummer is playing a complex and perfectly timed rhytm. The guitarist is playing kick-ass solos. You can't really hear the bassist playing but he really seems to be having a great time with that retarded dance of his. The pyrotechnics are impressive and beautiful. The people around you are all good looking and intelligent. They're dancing and having fun and noone's thrashing like a moron. The lighting is so trippy you feel like you're on acid. Suddenly the whole band stops playing and the singer says "The room becomes a funnel." Suddenly the rooms becomes a funnel and everyone falls into the VOID!!!!

Did that seem wierd to you? Well, it wouldn't if you weren't such a stuck up asshole. I hate you.

Chapter Ten - Fuck this.

Fuck this.